Eco etiquette: it's a wrap

For most parents, it’s a familiar scenario. The birthday party is over, the kids have finally gone home, goody bags in hand, and you’re ready to reward yourself with a cool glass of organic Chardonnay. Then it dawns on you: What are you going to do with all those new gifts?

It’s not that you’re ungrateful; it’s that your kids need another toy—of questionable origins, no less—like they need a dose of bisphenol A. Applying standards to what you give your children is hard enough, but controlling what others give them is trickier still.

“You have to let people know that you feel strongly about it, but traditions are hard to break,” says Alison Smith, co-founder of ECHOage, a web service that helps parents plan more mindful birthday parties. “It’s very hard to tell people what to give.”

And it’s very easy to come across as strident and inflexible, not to mention holier-than-thou. The solution lies in clear communication. Use these tips to craft a family gifting policy (without committing social suicide):

Think it through: Take time to decide on your gift guidelines. This will help you find the words (and the courage) to relay that message to family and friends when the time comes.

Make it fun, not preachy: Don’t tell people what to buy (unless you want to lose friends). Instead, try diverting the best intentions of, say, grandparents by asking if they would like to pay for piano or swim lessons.

Keep it clear and easy: Just state “no gifts” on party invitations, or incorporate another form of giving such as a book exchange, a toy swap or a wildlife theme with donations to the World Wildlife Fund.

Involve your kids: Try playing a game you call the “one in, one out” rule. This means that for every new item that comes into the house, an old one has to find a new home (not the landfill!).

Don’t be a jerk: Accept all gifts with grace, and lead by example whenever possible. Choose practical, eco-conscious presents—such as a bicycle bell or a reusable water bottle—when you’re giving to others.

Emma Gilchrist is an award-winning environmental columnist based in Calgary.