So long George

(Jul 3, 2008) What would George Carlin think about the Kansas based Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket his funeral? He'd probably find their half-baked logic funny.

At a private memorial service last Sunday, other comedians and friends memoralized the comedian who was a ground breaker and voice of the counter culture. The Westboro Church was threatening to disrupt the funeral because Carlin “made lots of money making fun of God."

But Carlin also made fun of environmentalists and consumers. And, that’s why we loved him.

Here are some of our favourite quotes:

Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain,
For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain.
America, America, man sheds his waste on thee,
And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.

I dread the deaths of certain super-celebrities. Not because I care about them, but because of all the shit I have to endure on television when one of them dies. All those tributes and retrospectives. And the bigger the personality, the worse it is.

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff... Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore.

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Kilometres are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometres.

I have nothing against the planet per se. I root for the big comet or asteroid as a way of cleansing the planet. The comet or asteroid 65 million years ago is probably what gave us our opening to replace the reptiles.

We don’t question things because everyone is fat and happy. Everyone has a cell phone that’ll make pancakes. So they don’t want to rock the boat. We went for gizmos, toys and gadgets. All we want is to have as many things as the guy across the street.

The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god -- that there's a man in the sky with 10 things he doesn't want you to do and you'll burn for a long time if you do them -- and private property, which I think is at the core of our failure as a species.

There's no morality in business. It doesn't have a conscience. It has only the cash register. They'll sell you crappy things that you don't need, that don't work, that they won't stand behind. It's a glorified legal form of criminal behaviour.

The planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE! Pack your shit, folks. We’re goin’ away.

Everything beeps now.

Donations accepted
Fans can make contributions in his memory to:

American Heart Association, George Carlin Memorial Fund, P.O. Box 844504, Dallas, Texas, 75284-4504

The Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression, which is "devoted solely to the defence of free expression in all its forms."

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